The Year of the Great Homework Project

Man, am I so excited that I am about to bust!!!  

Before I begin, let me start by saying all the names have been changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent people.  I am a mom blessed with three precious girls -- Abigail, Emily, and Elizabeth.  Abigail is in middle school, Emily is older elementary and Elizabeth is younger elementary.  The Lord has also blessed us so that I can stay at home, but I stay busy with various activities at church and school.  All of my girls go to public schools. 

 Last year we had just about the worst "homework" year possible with Abigail.  Emily did ok with most subjects, but one particular one was always a challenge.  Elizabeth did not have any, but I found worksheets, etc for her to do so she could keep busy with the big kids.  Every night would pretty much end with everyone in tears about 8:00 or later and it was no fun for anyone.  I was to the point come late May where I would just say, "I can't wait for school to be over so I can like you again!"  I knew this summer we needed to make some serious changes because we could NOT go through another year like last. 

After much prayer and conversations with Godly educators, we found a great resource in a book by John Rosemond called, "Ending the Homework Hassle".  In it, he simply states plans to get your children -- who God specifically gave you because He knew you were best for them -- to get their homework done by themselves.  Now, this was a completely new idea to me, because Abigail was often a lollygagger and not at all interested in getting her work done.  I felt I had to poke and prod all afternoon to get her to do it; and she would set certain rules, like I had to be in the room with her and no one else could, and no one could make noise while she was doing it and crazy stuff like that.  But I LOVE the direct, simple way Mr. Rosemond spells out how to end the battle.  I nearly ate up the whole book in two days and could not wait to set it into practice!!  After coming up with a plan and reviewing with DH, we sat down with the girls individually and spelled the whole thing out.  It was very matter of factly and unemotional, because that is where the trouble comes.  We then all signed a homework contract with things we would each be responsible for, and that was that.  Sounds simple, right?  Let me give you a brief overview ...

The main goal of this whole project is for the girls to learn for themselves how THEY study/work best.  We have been telling them how we think they should study/work because that is what worked for us, but apparently it isn't working for Abigail and perhaps Emily.  They will have the freedom to discover for themselves what works for them, plus the added benefit of learning skills to carry them through high school and beyond.  It is implemented through the ABCs of homework:  

A - They will do their homework all by themselves.  No homework will be done at the kitchen table, but it can be done anywhere else inside or outside the house.  Otherwise, their homework becomes a family affair and it is an individual project.

B - We will now be backing off.  In other words, we will no longer be as involved in helping them with their homework.  We will help if they absolutely can't find the answer and are unable to contact friends in class about it, but they need to do all they can to figure it out alone.  We will do what we NEED to do, and help with them when they ask nicely, but not be at their beck and call. Homework is their job, housework is mine, outside work is DH's job.  We were not in class with the teacher to know what instructions were given or resources discussed.  (I also gave Abigail her own email address this fall so SHE could email the teachers for help.)   

C - At 8:00, we call it quits for homework.  They can start their homework whenever they want, but after 8:00 no more homework will be done.  There is no good that comes from trying to do it later!  Also, that gives them time to get ready for bed, get their bags ready, etc without being rushed.  Based on our evening activities, we plan to eat supper around 5:00, so they can take that into consideration about when they need to start.  

(Most of this was taken straight from the book, pps.28-38.)

And so, here we go.   Our first week was a little rough at times (moreso for me than them!) but I was amazed at what they did right!  :)  I am hoping that even though they didn't have much homework this past week, at least they were setting some skills for when it does get more intense.  

My goal is to update daily, if possible, if only for myself as a journal for this year.  I also hope it may help whoever comes upon this if they are struggling too.  Feel free to comment away!  I'm so excited to see how this will work!!

O:)

Melissa